When Bryget Chrisfield gets The Chats’ Eamon Sandwith on the blower, he sounds off on 20 topical topics – from alcohol-free beer to ciggie prices and mullet discrimination. Check out their Suburban Excursion tour dates here.
Self-proclaimed “dropkick drongos from the Sunshine Coast of Australia”, The Chats have a knack for inventive, uniquely Australian lyrics: one of their hilarious singles ‘The Clap’ rhymes “root” with “ute” – genius!
Brissie were on the other side of a snap lockdown at the time of my chat with Eamon Sandwith, the deadset legend with a ginger mullet who fronts The Chats.
While in lockdown, Eamon found himself enjoying long walks, during which he’d usually listen to music. But he also recommends a couple of podcasts to help brighten our days.
“My favourite one is called Your Favourite Band Sucks: they just pick a band for each episode and talk about all the crappy stuff that they’ve done. It can get a bit negative, but it’s just so funny! Like, the two dudes that do it are hilarious. And there’s another great podcast I love called Rivals, and that’s about all the great rivalries in musical history.”
The Chats are about to embark on The Suburban Excursion tour, which was rescheduled due to the ongoing challenges of the global pandemic. When asked how it felt to finally perform in front of actual audiences again, Eamon enthused.
“It was pretty wicked; you don’t realise how much you miss it… We got through most of the dates that we had booked for last year so, yeah! We’re pretty lucky. We even got over to New Zealand in July, so that was pretty sick. There was kids, like, stage-diving and crowd-surfing and stuff over there. It was certainly refreshing to see a bunch of people jumping around and that.”
So is Eamon ready to chime in on our 20 topical topics? “Bloody oath!”
Rooting in a ute
“Never done it. But I s’pose it’d probably be a bit cold, you know, on that metal and stuff; I can’t imagine it would be too comfortable. Or maybe if you were actually inside the ute that’d probably be better, but I still don’t know. I’m on the fence about it.”
Mullet discrimination
“I think it’s pretty dumb, but what can you do? There are a few venues that won’t let you in around Brissie and stuff. I’ve asked about it and they’re like, ‘Oh, it’s because people with mullets start fights,’ or whatever and it’s like, ‘Well, this doesn’t seem like the sort of place I wanna drink at anyway so f**k ya!’ Yeah, it’s stupid, but, I dunno, they do all that stuff up here in the Gold Coast with neck tattoos – like, you can’t go to a pub if you got a neck tattoo – it’s really stupid. I’ve never really encountered it anywhere else that they’re like, ‘Oh, you can’t come in’ – apart from Sydney. But that’s Sydney. I probably can’t get in anywhere in Sydney. They take one look at me and say, ‘Nuh!’”
Mosquitoes
“They’re little bastards, aren’t they? I used to live in Mackay when I was growing up and they were real, real bad up there. But not so much here. I think the bugs in South East Queensland are a little bit more tame.”
Fancy parmas
“You can’t really screw up a parmy – if it’s just the normal procedure – but when you start adding all this other stuff it gets a bit risky. I’m not really on board with it, but in saying that I have had a couple. I’ve had the Mexican one – where they put, like, jalapeños and sour cream and stuff on it – and that was alright, but not as good as the original. I’ve also had the Hawaiian one where they put pineapple on the top – that was alright, but not as good as the original.”
Double-dipping chips into dip
“I think it depends on who it is. Like, if it’s someone you’re close with I think you’re more likely to forgive that. But if it’s some stranger, you’d definitely be a bit off it.”
Budgie smugglers
“Hot.”
Alcohol-free beer
“Pointless.”
Ciggie prices in Australia
“Stupid.”
The Voice
“S**t.”
Social media
“It’s pretty f**ed, you know, like, giving everyone a voice. I feel like some people shouldn’t be allowed to voice their opinions. Some people are just too dumb for it.”
The Kardashians
“I reckon they’re pretty f**ed.”
Iggy Pop
“Legend.”
Biggy Pop (Iggy’s pet cockatoo)
“Oh, yeah, even more of a legend! I’ve seen a few of the clips, he’s a good dancer that Biggy Pop.”
People who talk about politics at parties
“I guess they can be pretty boring. I don’t really tend to bring that up anywhere and especially not at a party.”
Tim Tam slams
“I don’t really do those, but I do love dipping some biccies into, like, a chocolate milk and getting them nice and soggy. Scotch Finger or whatever; I’m not picky with biscuits.”
The Olympics
“It’s alright. I mean, I saw like bits of it. But, I dunno, it was definitely more of an exciting thing when I was, like, 12 – I’d watch heaps of it – but now I’m like, I dunno, I don’t need to look at athletes [laughs].”
Calling Crimestoppers to dob in Barnaby Joyce for not wearing a mask
“[Laughs] That’s awesome! I’d be calling Crimestoppers if I saw Barnaby, even if he was wearing a mask! I’d have to call someone.”
Babycinos
“Can’t say I hate them. I’m pretty into them. I don’t drink a lot of coffee, but I like the froth.”
People who say c-bomb instead of c-nt
“Pussies.”
Meditation apps
“Yeah, I used to use one – they’re pretty good. I think it was called Headspace. I like doing that stuff.”
